kanipan: (Default)
[personal profile] kanipan
first post and its me ranting lolol

been so stressed out recently. no motivation to do anything. intrusive thoughts getting quite bad. gah......

i always get like this around christmas time. i hate it,, i feel ungrateful when i have these episodes of hating myself when i really have like. no reason to? i have a super loving family and caring friends but i truly cant help it when i get like this.
i know that those around me would gladly help me if i reached out to them but its like. i dont really want their help.

i feel like if i lose this terrible part of myself im going to lose so much of what makes me myself. i feel like im characterized by my mental health problems and if they were to be solved i dont know what id do with myself anymore.

not sure if this is just me shouting into the void or if someone who also feels a similar way as me will see this. i just needed to tell this to people who dont know anything about me.
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February 2026

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